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Tuesday, 29 April 2014

A decision

"There are better things in the world than alcohol, but alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.” - Terry Pratchett
Vic Reeves as Tom Fun. Cakes and snouts.
In a recent post I wondered whether I could or would voluntarily give up drinking for good. After spending the weekend home alone with three small children, I can confirm it's not going to happen any time soon.

Last week one of the directors I've been working with was having a conversation with a university professor who is a theoretical expert in the process of cannabis cultivation. My director had heard, from a bloke down the pub, that a lot of cannabis was being sprayed with heroin to make up for its lack of relative strength. The lack of relative strength coming from the recent fashion of speeding up the growth cycle.

"But why would you?" the professor replied.

Turns out if your cannabis is going to be sprayed with anything, it's more likely to be sugar solution, which as it dries will look pearlescent, mimicking the THC heavy trichomes at the optimum stage of maturity on the flower. Told you he was an expert.

It is impossible to achieve anything with three small children around other than continued mutual survival. Doing so is challenging, stimulating, irritating, repetitive, joyous and generally exhausting. But it is not an intellectual pursuit.

The amount of times I mentally poured myself a beer or a glass of wine over the weekend made me realise how useful alcohol is in alleviating boredom. And much as I love my little angels, supervising ablutions, overseeing homework and watching bad animated movies is not something I look forward to fitting in around the endless food prep, waiter service, dish-washing and floor-sweeping which constitutes the rest of my domestic schedule.

Introducing psychoactives into your bloodstream in order to let the world pass by in a warm, fuzzy dream is a famously bad idea, but staying resolutely sober throughout hours of inescapable drudgery seems positively masochistic.

The "why would you?" response articulates my conclusive position on permanent alcohol abstention.

I am counting the hours till 1 Jan 2015.

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